Thursday, October 14, 2010

How to open a door

If there's one thing that's guaranteed to make you feel insignificant, it's automatic doors that won't open for you. You know the feeling: you're wandering up to the supermarket entrance, green bag in hand; you step up to the glass sliding doors...and nothing happens. You're left loitering on the outside, like the little match girl, watching the happy, warm shoppers inside loading up their trolleys with imported garlic and 2-for-1 chocolate bars, until finally someone with more presence arrives and you can sneak through behind them. As happened to me this morning.

Maybe it's the way I approach the doors. Perhaps I'm too self-effacing, or I sidle too much. Usually it happens when I'm caught up thinking about something so I don't even notice until I've nearly run into the stupid things. (I'd like to say I'm caught up thinking about plot developments or character arcs or how to solve global warming, but it's more often things like What is dust made of?)

Maybe I need to practise striding in at a precise right-angle to the door. Head-on. Looking the sensor thingo dead in the eye as I do so. Or just find somewhere to shop with manual doors, to save myself the humiliation of being ignored by a machine!

Anyway, to add insult to injury I just discovered that apparently Australia is the 'dumb blonde' of the world! (And apparently it's still acceptable to call blondes dumb.)
Have a bonza day everyone.

4 comments:

  1. Oh SF!!! I join you in the ranks of those that automatic doors ignore!! It's true! The doors where I work are all automatic - and they always never open for me! I'm left face up against the panelling scratching at the doorframe for any kind soul to let me in - cos I work there! LOL!!!!!!

    I've just read that stupid sexist evil article. I'm too horrified to even get angry.
    :-(

    I hope you have a bonza day too!
    Take care
    x

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  2. Old kitty, that's the ultimate indignity - having to plead with doors to let you into work! As if you wouldn't rather just turn around and go home (or maybe you wouldn't, maybe you quite enjoy your work!)
    I did have a bonza day, thank you.

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  3. Maybe the doors weren't automatic at all. Maybe there was some guy watching you on camera, having a laugh.

    Or, if it's really that you can sneak right up to an automatic door undetected, I wonder if there is some way you can use your powers of stealth for evil? Could you steal a giant diamond off a booby trapped pedestal without the sensors that release the flying daggers going off? Might be worth a try.

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    ReplyDelete