Wednesday, October 28, 2009

How to be a Better Writer: 2. Clothes Maketh the Man

I'm not usually prone to sweeping generalisations; however, we all know it is important to Look the Part.

As a volunteer at the recent Melbourne Writers Festival, I was able to keenly observe both writers and punters, and now pass on a list of the sartorial essentials for the writerly type.

1. Red extremities. Whether it's burgundy shoes, a carmine hat, ruby nail-polish or scarlet spectacle frames, red is the devilish detail favoured by writers. Take note that it is not to be worn on the body of though. Your clothes, for the most part, should be black (see below).

2. Black clothing, perhaps charcoal if you're feeling Spring-y. Lady crime-writers should feel free to mix as much purple and green in as they wish, and authors of bloke lit of course reserve the right to blue jeans and a polo shirt.

3. Skinny jeans. A recent addition, but sadly now indispensable for both genders and all body types.

4. Leather bag/satchel with buckles. For carrying around your moleskines.

5. Clever T-shirts, for the younger scribblers, but NO puns unless they are so superbly daggy they're cool (I'm happy to assess puns for those who are uncertain about dag factor).

6. Most important to wear is a faraway look, which indicates creative forces at work. If you also carry around an eye for detail and an ear for conversation, you will find this comes more easily.

For those writers who don't venture out in public that often, the following are acceptable:

Trackie daks, moccasins, woolly jumpers (what do you get if you cross a kangaroo and a sheep?), faded T-shirts, flannies, those check shorts you've had since Year 9.

No comments:

Post a Comment