Thank you to Old Kitty and KarenG for nominating me for these blog awards!

From Old Kitty:

I like the challenge of this - answer questions in one word only. Takes me back to my monosyllabic teenage years.

Your Mobile Phone? Dated
Your Hair? Brown
Your Mother? Educates
Your Father? Farms
Your Favorite Food? Ice-cream
Your Dream Last Night? Heatwave-induced
Your Favorite Drink? Drunk
Your Dream/Goal? Publish
What Room Are You In? Airconditioned
Your Hobby? Working
Your Fear? UV
Where Do You See Yourself In Six Years? 2016
Where Were You Last Night? Couch
Something That You Aren't? Telepathic
Muffins? Blueberry
Wish List Item? One?
Where Did You Grow Up? Didn't
Last Thing You Did? Tea
What Are You Wearing? Colours
Your TV? Square
Your Pets? Missed
Friends? About
Your Life? Fortunate
Your Mood? Sanguine
Missing Someone? Sometimes
Vehicle? Pushbike
Something You Aren't Wearing? Socks
Your Favorite Store? Merton
Your Favorite Colour? Greeny-bluey-purply
When Was The Last Time You Laughed? Yesterday
Last Time You Cried? Pointless
Your Best Friend? Lentils
One Place You Go To Over And Over Again? Desk
Facebook? ...useful...
Favorite Place To Eat? Verandah


From KarenG:

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Rules are to give ten honest things about myself, but I do like the ambiguity of this one if you just remove the 's'.

1. I eat too much pasta
2. I can't spell 'perseverance' (well, I couldn't before I looked it up in the dictionary).
3. I probably spend more time thinking about stuff and writing for this blog than I do on my book.
4. I still don't really believe I can write a book.
5. My bike tyres probably should have been replaced about a year ago.
6. If I don't have any caffeine in a day I get headaches - been wondering lately whether to give it up, but it helps me write.
7. Correcting grammar and punctuation makes me feel smug.
8. Channel 10 has stopped showing The Simpsons every day of the week and it's really annoyed me.
9. I've lived in the city for 12 years but still can't call it home.
10. I eavesdrop on public transport.


I don't have a heap of blogs that I follow, but these are the ones I think deserve awards, to do with what they will (they definitely deserve a look):
Warrenbird
Melinda Szysmanik: I should be writing but...
Just Jemi 
Rebecca Knight - Writer in Progress

Check it (out)

Help! I Need a Publisher!: MORE POINTS OF VIEW - SAYS WHO? SAYS I

If anyone would like to see a tiny piece of my writing get picked apart ever so helpfully by YA author and writing/publishing guru Nicola Morgan, please proceed through the above link.

I'm very grateful Nicola took the time to consider what I sent her, and recommend her blog as one of, if not the, best blog/s for aspiring writers.

This Straw Not Recommended for Hot Beverages

So said the wrapper on my straw when I went into my local coffee franchise for an iced one.

I'm not sure what the statistics are; whether the incidence of people receiving mouth burns from sipping their long blacks through a straw was abominably high and action had to be taken, or if perhaps it's decreased since they started labelling straws in this fashion. One thing for sure, we live in a society that likes to point out the obvious.

Which is probably why I'm having a little trouble with avoiding the obvious when I write lately. My writing's full of 'he saids' and 'she saids' when it's very obvious that a) someone's talking (the talking marks give that away!) and b) the person talking is him. Or her.

I can't help it - I use these words like punctuation to break up sentences, and because they're easy. When I get an idea I want to get it down as fast as I can, so I use quick and easy words, which are rarely interesting or evocative.

The results are some ve-ery sloppy writing, so I have to keep reminding myself: The point of writing a story is not just to say what's going on - you're supposed to bring something more to the table.

On the other hand, when I do take the time to slave for hours over two sentences until they're just shimmering, it's a bit like when you spend all afternoon cooking lasagne from scratch for your housemates/family and you serve it up and it all goes in about 5 minutes: a two hour sentence will be read in an average of 2.5 seconds*.  Then the reader goes straight on to the next one.

Aim for the next week: increase the interesting and evocative while writing as fast as possible. Easy!

*Statistic not verified.

New Year Revolutions

I was feeling a bit stuck in a rut -- a new year and all that, but I was still at my desk, tapping away and struggling with the same writing I was before Christmas.

I mean, apart from the pock, pock in the background of tennis balls being bashed around Melbourne Park, you'd hardly know it was the new year.

Desperate for a mark of change, I changed the background of my desktop. I know, radical, but I think it did the trick. Now I've got something new to look at every time I sit down at my computer, and have some vague sense of fresh beginning, even if I'm still struggling with the same writing I was before Christmas. I also moved my desk lamp from the left to the right side of my desk.

Never underestimate the power of change -- it's as good as a holiday!

And for a bit more inspiration for the year ahead, here's a piece in The Age last week by Catherine Deveny, a "professional pain in the arse" hero of mine.

Write by numbers?

OMG, as they say. Blog and ye shall receive.

No sooner had I made a wish list of technologies that would make me a better and speedier writer, than what should I come across in a far corner of the internet? Fiction writing software. 

Specifically--and there are many out there--one called StoryMill. It's a novel writing program for Apples that contains a word frequency tracker and a cliche finder! Clearly I am behind the eight ball on this one.


The full list of features runs as follows (from the website):

• Track, tag and filter characters, scenes, locations, and research with StoryMill's unique dynamic outline.
• Visually and interactively display your story across time with StoryMill's timeline view.
• Annotate any text in your project.
• Revise your work with innovative tools like a word frequency tracker and cliche finder.
• Set and achieve your daily writing goals with the progress meter.
• A built-in support for tracking submissions to editors and agents.
• Manage the creative writing process with Smart Views.
• Write, distraction-free, in Full Screen Mode.
• View your novel in multiple views.
• Back up any and all activity in StoryMill

StoryMill supports the following languages: English, French, German, Italian.

Sounds quite impressive, and makes writing a novel seem like just a matter of being able to interactively display your timeline while not being distracted by having only a single view of your novel in Part Screen Mode. 

In other words, it seems like a whole lot more excuses for why my novel isn't working ('But I don't have a progress meter - how can I set my daily writing goals? How am I supposed to keep track of my characters without a dynamic outline?').


So while it seemed a good idea in theory, and yes, the cliche finder might be handy and I'd love to give it a go just to see, I think I might press on with my creative writing process sans Smart Views and see where it gets me.


[Has anyone tried any of these kinds of software? Am I being unjustly dismissive?!]

The Villain of the Piece

So, I'm trying to put together the plot of my book - outline of story, characters, their motivations etc.

While I'm not anywhere near certain about all of this, the process has made me much more aware of the importance of the bad guys in a story. They are, after all, usually the cause of all the hero's problems, and create the all-important conflict.

And watching the new Sherlock Holmes movie the other day made me aware of how important villainous markers are.

The epiphany came right at the start. Holmes and the new improved, beefed-up Dr. Watson are racing against time to prevent the ritual killing of a pretty young thing by -- a man whose face is shadowed by a hood, all except his wonky front teeth. The lingering close-up on his crooked not-so-pearly whites tells all the viewer needs to know. This guy is a bad guy and he's going to cause trouble for the rest of the movie (why distinguish him by his crooked teeth if you're not going to show them again and again?).

It's not subtle, but it works, and it made me realise I need to focus a bit more on my own villain and leave the good guys be for a while. I had no clear idea of what my villain looks like, or even of his motivations beyond just being a bit of a bastard. But it's so important that he's a rounded, convincing character, and a worthy foil to my heroine. I'm also thinking a scar down his right cheek and a wall-eye. Or is that going a bit far?

Tools of the Trade for the Modern Writer.

I've just discovered the 'stickies' program on my Apple and think it's one of the most useful things I've ever come across on a computer. It's great. You just open it up and a little yellow square, of exactly the same size and appearance of a post-it note, appears on your desktop. You can then type anything you like on it - reminders, ideas, internet banking passwords - and it will stay up there until you either delete the text or 'bin' the note.

It's very useful for keeping track of writing ideas and unlike my current system, the notes can't be blown off my desk into infinity by the fan, or lost in the rest of the writing detritus that weighs down my desk.

All technology should be this good. In fact, I am so pleased that someone has made a program that meets my needs this well, that I'm now sitting back, waiting expectantly for the following innovations to appear and make writing as easy as it's surely meant to be...

Word Psychic 1.0.
A word processor with telepathic device attached, Word Psychic plucks half-formed thoughts from the user's head, before they've had the chance to ruin them by trying to put them into written words. The program then analyses the thoughts and spits them onto the page in the clearest, most moving prose available to express such thoughts. A version would be available for mobile phones and mp3 players, allowing the writer to make the most of pensive journeys on public transport and amusing work situations.

iVoice. 
Having trouble maintaining the voice of your narrator? Not sure whether your cockney washer woman would use the word 'ineffable'? The iVoice will solve all these problems and more. Simply type in a sample of your character's 'voice' into the sampleator, add any other information about your character (female, English, likes suds), and iVoice will track your writing, alerting you to any deviations from authentic voice and suggesting replacement phrases.

Cliche and Mixed Metaphor checker.
Does what it says on the tin.


Yellow Ink Purple Prose Inhibitor.
Another fairly straight-forward application, but one that comes with an adjustable index of acceptable purple prose content. Settings include 'Love-letter' (up to 90% allowable PP), 'Mills & Boon' (<60% PP) and 'Dirty Realism' (<0.01% PP).

With technology thus taking all the hard work out of being a writer, I should be able to then get down to the proper business of the occupation. This chiefly involves drinking tea, sending off absorbingly brilliant manuscripts to publishers and sipping champagne at the book launch.

Can't wait.